Started the night with the usual warm up.
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45lb DB goblet squat, timed with various pauses
(Had some discomfort in my back here)
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Squats with safety squat bar:
Bar x10 full, x10 partial
(Felt considerable pain)
75lb x2 full, x5 partial
(Had more pain, went and hung from the reverse hyper)
75lb x2
I tried to finish the set of 5 full squats but there was just no way. My lower left back wasn't playing nice. So we moved on...
[Body weight box squats x10 / Safety Squat Bar calf raises x10] 2x
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The rest of the night consisted of body weight and resistance work and stretching along with core work. There were too many things for me to remember here. Some were uncomfortable, to put it mildly, some weren't so bad.
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Ended the night with calf raises / bicep curls
[2, 25lb DB x10 / x10] 10x
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To say that I'm feeling some frustration would be an understatement. The tears were close tonight but thankfully, I managed to push them back. Tears not because of the pain, I can deal with that, but tears because I'm sliding further and further back when I should be going forward. The ice pick pain on my left hip isn't because my left hip is fucked, it's because my right is so out of whack. My right leg has shortened, again. It does that because everything is pulled tight to compensate for being out of alignment. 2 weeks ago, I went to the chiropractor 3 times in one week. Not only can I not do that because of time constraints, but financially, it will break me. So it's up to me to fix myself. I don't know how, but I have to. Once more, life is telling me that I'm not strong enough and once more, I have to prove that I am. I'm tired of proving it, but if this is the only way I'll get what I want, then prove it I will. There are people who have far bigger obstacles than me, and I fully acknowledge that. This is just a bit of crying in my beer and it will pass.
Justin gave me a pep talk tonight and it rang true. Of course he told me not to be hard on myself but of course he knows that I will be and I am. That's how I keep going though. So, with that, I'll bid you goodnight. There may be a lot of things that I am not. I'm not the strongest woman around, not the best built, not the most knowledgeable, but one thing I am is tenacious. When I have my heart set on something I will get it. I will beat life down slowly and methodically until it admits that I am strong enough. I am.
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