Earlier in the day I was seriously considering not going to the gym tonight. I woke feeling rundown and completely wiped out. I spent the majority of the day giving myself excuses why I didn't have to go - I was tired and had the start of a headache, working out would only make it worsr, I could hurt myself because I wasn't focused enough, blah, blah, blah.
For some reason, though, the thought of "walking the walk" kept coming back to me today. In the belief of Asatru, we have this notion that we are our deeds. This means that you can flap your gums all day long about what you may be able to do, but if you never do it, then all your words are empty. Being that I want my Gods proud of me, I couldn't very well skip squat day and not add to my deeds. So I went.
About 10 minutes in, I was glad I went. I was moving decent weight, sweating a good sweat and doing things that others only talk about. With each squat a little more stress got burned away and having to focus on not killing myself actually gave my brain a much needed break.
There's a certain amount of pride in pushing yourself to do what you don't want. And there's even more pride in knowing you beat your brain at the mental game. I can be my worst enemy and biggest critic, but not today. Today I was the victor.
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