No Other Choice

Shrugs:
45lb plate ea hand x50
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DEADLIFTS:
145lb x10
165lb x8 
175lb x6 
185lb x3, 5x
135lb x10, 3x
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HIP THRUSTERS / SIDE HOPS
55lb x10 / x10 ea leg
75lb x8 / x10 ea
95lb x6 / x10 ea
115lb x3 / x10 ea
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I managed one more set of 185lb on the deads than I did last week, so that's a little improvement and my back didn't feel as weak. Still doesn't feel great, but I'll take any bit of progress at this point.
I had to wear gloves tonight, not because of wear and tear on my hands but because the bar and weights were so cold. It's a drawback of an unheated garage. I think it messed with my grip because that felt weaker than normal. Or maybe, I was just weaker on that tonight.
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I was reading an article on lifting to help fight depression. I've not been to a shrink, no one's diagnosed me with their professional opinion, but I guarantee that I am. Life hasn't been easy or kind over the past couple of years. Hey, nobody said it would be right? I've been struggling  and so far, managed to keep my head above water. But this weekend the waves overtook me and things just suck. So anyhow, like I was saying, I read this article on the benefits of lifting. It said that in some cases the amount of endorphins released is as much a benefit as counseling. So I got off my depressed ass and lifted. I still ain't happy, and life is still in shambles but my mind was at least focused on something else for the hour that I was out there. 
I can't even think about how things are going to play out now and frankly, I don't want to; everything is uncertain and bleak. The only thing I do know is that I have no other choice but to keep going. If I stop, if I give in to the the side of me that keeps asking why bother, then I only give myself one more reason to be pissed at myself. Odin knows I have enough reasons already, why add to it?
So today is in the books and Tuesday's bench day can't come soon enough.