Morning Reflection

As I sit here watching the news and sipping some coffee I'm still smiling from my accomplishment yesterday. I know that I'm not unique. There are people in gyms all over the world pulling much more weight than I am. There are people with disabilities that are facing obstacles that I can't even begin to imagine. But I'm not in competition with them (for the most part). All I'm concerned with is me and this morning I'm proud of me.
     My trainer, Justin, and I were talking in between sets about this and that, and I told him that "people don't expect this of me". I don't think a lot of people I knew growing up, people that I work with now and even some gamily, would ever look at me and think I was capable of doing any of this lifting.  What he told me will be one of the things that gets ingrained in my mind. He just said, "prove them wrong with your actions". 
     Good gods, you can't get much simpler than that and you can get any more effective can you? You can flap your gums all damn day about what you're capable of, but words can always be refuted and disbelieved. Actions, though, actions are concrete. Either you did or you didn't, and by the gods if you did then all the hate in the world can't change that fact. 
     Last night and in truth for over a year now, I have been doing. I remember starting out with 12lb dumbbells and zero support for what I wanted to do. At that time, my only goal was to lose weight. And I did. Then I realized it was time to go for a dream that I had had since I was young. A dream I never told anyone about because it was so outlandish - I wanted to lift, and lift heavy. I wanted to be a strongwoman.  So I narrowed my focus. I'm not "there" yet. I have certain goals I want to hit and some I have but there are bigger ones on the horizon. But everyday, the accomplishment on a grander scale makes me happy and no one can tell me that I haven't done something.
     Physically I'm stronger.  Even I can't deny that. On the days I feel down, or stagnant all I have to do is look back through my notes and see my progress. No bullshit, no stories. Hard, cold, numbers; and they don't lie. Bigger even than that though, is the mental change. I'm able to push myself harder than I ever have. Trust me, there are days when my brain gives me every excuse not to try. It throws every "logical" reason it can at me to give up. I ignore it and push on. Why? Because I have things to do. Lifting has become a part of me, a way of life, and I love it! I feel like I've come home.
     In Asatru we have a saying: "we are our deeds". In essence, it's an ancient version of "prove them wrong with your actions."