The Train Is Departing

     For whatever reason, mainly because we're fallible humans, there will be times that we fall off of our course. We lose sight of our goals, both short and long term. We misplace our motivation and can't seem to remember where the hel we put it and our drive goes into neutral, or in the worse scenarios, reverse. Then the vicious spiral down starts of being pissed and depressed because we're pissed and depressed and we're sinking so far into that black hole it feels as if we'll never make it out again. I've been in that spiral for far too long, my friends. Until now.

     Whether it was the Gods answering my calls for help, my ancestors and friends rallying behind me or just that wee little voice in the pit of my soul never refusing to shut up, I'll never be quite sure. But something stopped that spiral. Something slapped me across the face and said "enough!" I cannot thrive in an environment of self torture, I can merely exist. I'll be damned if I've come through some of the shit I've come through to merely exist on this plane. I was meant to excel and so that is exactly what I intend to do. 

     I certainly don't have all the answers as to how I"m going to excel, but I know it doesn't involve me wallowing in self hate and pity.  Fuck that nonsense. I'm a daughter of Odin, damn it, and I will be strong and powerful. He will not accept anything less from me. He will accept sadness, anger, frustration, he will even accept failure, but he will not accept a weak, defeated mortal. 

     Eating will be tweaked, as usual, to fit a more "aggressive" pattern. I took the fasting to an extreme that was just pure stupidity on my part. So an increase in protein, cutting back on processed shit, and increasing my water. I'm ashamed to admit that there had been some days that a coffee and glass of water made up all of my liquid intake. Dangerous. Dangerous and stupid. That's what depression does, but that's for another post entirely. Activity will be increased, slowly, to levels that used to be my normal. There was a time I was doing at least least 4 hours of heavy training a week. I will get back to that. But it will take a bit to ease back into it.

     I have things to accomplish, PR's to set and barriers to break. The Bad Ass train is about to leave the station and there's plenty of empty seats. Who's in?