Coins

WARM UP:
65lb x5BW Squat jump x10
BW squats x10
Yoga PU x5
••••••••••
BACK SQUAT:
Bar x10 -------> shoulder pain
65lb x5
85lb x5
115lb x2 -------> shoulder pain too much
••••••••••
BW split squats x10
30lb total x10
(50lb total x5) 3x
••••••••••
(Stability ball hamstring curls x10) 5x
(Reverse Nordic curls x10) 3x
••••••••••
First let's get the technical stuff out of the way. The squats were actually feeling pretty good. I wouldn't say that I could've tried for a max lift, but the weight was moving steady and with no pain in my knees (lots of noise in the knees, but no pain). My left shoulder, however, well, that was being a little bitch. I tried wider, narrower, normal no position felt good and the 115lbs simply did it in; I couldn't hold it. I tried front squats - same thing. So I moved on to working my legs with no shoulder involvement and as little stress to my knees as possible. Good gods....
The reverse Nordic curls were something that I enjoyed and I'd like to add them in more often. I couldn't go very far back, but I definitely felt it in my quads.
Now, let's get on to the non-technical talk. I feel as though I'm looking at my current state as some sort of metaphysical coin. There's two sides to look at here and my course of action and mindset depend on which side I focus on. Notice I didn't say acknowledge? That's because you have to acknowledge both sides even though one may be less than desirable. Acknowledgement doesn't decide focus though and that's the most important thing.
I acknowledge that on one side I am woefully overweight and out of shape. I have pain in numerous places due both to the extra weight and the fact that I don't train nearly as much as I need to. Those two facts put me into a horrible cycle of hurting because I'm overweight and out of shape so I don't move as much, but not moving as much makes me overweight and out of shape. If I choose to focus on that side of my situation I'm pretty much screwed because that side is depressing as hell. 
The other side, while still no shining example of pride and glory, is slightly less depressing. On this side, I am a 43.5 year old mom that gets up at 4:30 am to take care of her man and her daughter and their home. I can swing a 55lb kettlebell over my goddamn head without braining myself and I can deadlift over 200lbs. I have SI joint disfunction, D.D.D., fucked up knee caps and apparently now some friggin muscle issue with my shoulder, oh, and let's not forget the surprise hormone issues from having one of my damn ovaries removed but I still manage to lift at least once a week. It may not be as frequent or intense as it should, but it happens. I'm about 20lbs heavier than I was about 5 years ago, but I can still see my feet and that's a whole hell of a lot better than a lot of people I went to school with! And if push comes to shove I could still whoop someone's ass if my family was threatened. 
This side of the coin, even though it's heavier, with more explanation, is so much more hopeful. It's really a given as to which side I'm focusing on. I don't truly have a choice if I want to keep my head above water and keep my mind clear and on the path to honor. 
We all have a coin in our lives, probably more than one for any given situation. Turn them over, acknowledge both sides and then decide where your focus lies. Carry on.