Improving Condition

Swiss Pike x10
Hanging knee raises x10
Swiss pike x10
Hanging leg raises x10
Swiss Pike x10
Hanging knee raises  (left/center/right) x10
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[ mountain climbers x15, 10lb strt. leg sit ups/press x15, 10lb Russian twists x15, butterfly kicks x15, leg raises x15, 10lb donkey kick x15 (ea. leg), 10lb 5 pulse donkey kick x5 (ea. leg)] 2x 
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The second pass through I cha get from situps to crunches because my neck was cramping up. Also, on the 3 part hkr, I admit, I had to do them in sets of 2.
The whole circuit took a tad over 19 minutes. I only stopped for a break between the first and second set of floor work. 
The way I timed it was by the number of songs on my Playlist that I made it through. Lol.

I Had A Feeling

25lb plate press/pullover x25
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BENCH:
55lb 4/1 x10
75lb x3
95lb x3
125lb x1
135lb x1 FAIL
95lb x3
75lb x3
55lb x10
Bar, wide/mid/narrow x10 ea.
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Tricep ext. into pull over, 45lb x10
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I had taken up a challenge to beat all of my 1rm by the end of the week. I wasn't really feeling it, and I had a feeling it wouldn't work, but I tried it anyhow. I met my max, but couldn't beat it. Which of course, made me angry, which of course made me cut things short. No more challenges. I'm sticking to my plan of easing back in with light weights and high volume. I'm kind of tired of listening to other people and letting their views change what I do and what brings me enjoyment. Let me be clear here, my friend was in no way forcing me to do this and I willing took part. It's like I always sabotage myself. Always. I know what I should be doing, eating, lifting...whatever. And I always find a way to stray off track and fuck things up. I'm truly so tired of my own bullshit that it's not funny. Not only did I get myself upset enough to screw up what could have been a productive night, I let my anger and frustration carry over to my daughter and my boyfriend and the heavy weights stressed my fucking neck muscles out. Now I have a spastic neck on top of a guilty conscience. 
I'm so done with myself. It has to stop and the only person who can stop it is me. I enjoyed my marathon squat session on Saturday. I kept the weight low, did massive amounts of squats and felt really good both physically and mentally. After last night I feel like a steaming pile of shit inside and out. 
I get so frustrated with lifting sometimes and there are days when I swear Im never doing it again. But when I allow it to be fun, I enjoy it! When I turn it into a chore, I hate the hell out of it. I may never hit the goals that maybe I once could - I don't really care anymore. I just want to be healthy and relatively strong. However I go about that, it HAS TO BE MY OWN WAY. That's the way I function best. That may be right wrong or meaningless, but that's just the way it is. 
Tonight I have obligations at my daughter's school so there will be no training. Tomorrow, I'm doing what I want, in the way I want it. I have a feeling that's how I'll make progress.

Back In The Game

SQUATS:
Bar x10
Bar x10 paused 5 count
65lb x20
95lb x10
From here on out I wore sleeves and a belt
135lb x5
95lb x10 
65lb x20
Bar x10
All squats were ATG 
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PISTOL SQUATS:
(to bench)
Body weight x10 ea. leg
10lb x10 ea. leg
15lb x5 ea. leg
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BARBELL CALF RAISES:
95lb x20
135lb x10
155lb x5 
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STATIC HOLDS:
185lb x30 sec.
225lb x25 sec
275lb x15 sec
300lb x20 sec
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I wanted to keep the weight low because of the whiplash  but I had to get off my ass and do something. I've been going crazy. So I decided 100 squats should do the trick. The stain holds were something I haven't done in quite some time but it felt good to unrack that weight and feel it on my back. 
All in all I'd say it was a good night.