I Did It Anyway

Frank couldn't work out with me tonight, so I was solo doing my squats. Before I get into exactly what I did I wanted to get real about some stuff. 

I'm afraid. That's it. I'm afraid. Look, I've always been an apprehensive person and even when I was lifting with a trainer, I had fear. Fear of what? Well, mostly fear of hurting myself. Even when the trainer had me doing stupid little box jumps I was afraid of missing the box and falling. Did it ever happen? Nope; never. But that fear never left. I just sort of faced it and pushed through. 

Lately, though, the fear is more persistent. I'm not sure if it's because I"m older and out of shape or if it's because I'm having more issues with my knees and things. I don't know. I just know that I have been very afraid of hurting myself lately. I'm afraid of blowing out my knees mostly. That seems to be the prevalent concern. That apprehension has led me to not pushing as hard as I probably could or should. I really hate that about myself. It makes me feel weak and stupid. Anyway, I'm making a conscious effort to once again, just push through those feelings as they come up and prove to myself that I'm capable of doing this again. Most of these weights, I've done before because, let's face it, it's not as if I've progressed any over the past couple of years. I'm basically just treading water here. So I know I can do this. And I know I can do better. I have to teach myself to push again. 

With all of that being said, here's what got done today:

BACK SQUATS:

65lb x10 (speed squats)

85lb x8 (speed squats)

115lb x5

155lb x3

155lb x2 (my belt popped off)

(155lb x3) 3x

REVERSE LUNGES:

(15lb x6 ea leg) 5x

STAIR DIPS:

(55lb KB x6 ea leg) 5x

BAND ASSISTED PULL UPS:

(blue band x7) 2x

STATIC OH HOLD LEG RAISES:

(35lb KB x10) 4x

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