Dynamic Duo

     Today was the first day of dynamic work on my new program. Frank wasn't a fan but I enjoyed it. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

DB SHRUG/LATERAL RAISE:

15lb x6

(10lb x12) 2x

SEATED O.H. (SMITH MACHINE):

65lb x5 

*This was much too light so I went heavier and did 3 full sets.

(95lb x5) 3x

ISOLATERAL SHOULDER PRESS:

(weight is per side)

(10lb x8) 2x

10lb x6, x3

BENCH:

(95lb x3) 12x

TRICEPS CABLE PULL DOWN:

30lb x12

(30lb x10) 2x

SINGLE ARM TRICEPS CABLE PULLDOWN:

(10lb x8) 3x per arm

ASSISTED DIPS:

90lb x10

(75lb x6) 2x

SEATED REAR DELT FLY:

(no grip)

60lb x8

(60lb x10) 2x

••••••••••

     We were supposed to do the bench first, then the overheads and then all the accessories. That didn't work out though because the bros were on the 2 benches. More about them in a minute. I feel like everything went well and I actually did more than what was programmed. Not sure if that's a good thing or not, but we'll see how it plays out. Frank didn't like the new program, he said he felt like he wasn't doing enough, hence all the extra stuff added on.

     I will say, I've never worked with the smith machine and I don't know how I feel about it. I don't think it gives a very good idea at all of how strong you are because it takes away the need to stabilize. I suppose that makes it good for targeting specific areas. I mean I was able to press 95lb an I know for a fact that's about 20lbs more than I can do with a barbell. I suppose it's good to mix it up though.

     Now about the bench bros. I want to first say that I'm not really ragging on them - they were strong dudes and they have every right to be in there pushing weight just like every one else does. My frustration came because their 5 minute rest breaks between their sets turned into more like 7 or 8 because of all the chit chatting. Another issue was that they were spotting each other, and apparently working out together. To me, when there is an obvious shortage of equipment, just use the same damn bench. Weave your sets together for cryin' out loud so you don't tie up 2 benches. Oh but, not only the two flat benches, but also one of the adjustable DB benches because, we have to have somewhere to set our phone.

     When they finally moved on, some young guy grabbed a bench and I went scurrying over to grab the other while Frank finished up on a machine. See, Frank and I share a bench, change the weight each time and spot each other when needed. We do this because it would be impolite to TIE UP 2 BENCHES! The entire time, all 24 sets, we had to listen to the bros giving cues to the new young guy, bragging about their weights, their age and everything else. All while the young guy expressed his love and admiration for these 2 bros and how awesome they were. Ugh. The love fest was strong, not to mention nauseating. 

     I have never, and I mean never had patience for people jabber-jawing in the damn weight room. A little small talk between sets, I can deal with and of course, encouragement while grinding. But full on, conversations at full volume? Shut the fuck up, seriously. Maybe I'm just grumpy from sleep exhaustion and menopause. Maybe. Maybe I'm just a bitch - there's a good possibility. Or maybe, and just hear me out here, maybe people have no friggin gym etiquette.

 

Movin' On Up!

     Squat day is now on Tuesday. So now Tuesday is my favorite day of the week. Here's what got done tonight as we worked up to our one rep max:

••••••••••

MAX SQUAT:

95lb x8

105lb x5

125lb x3

140lb x1

155lb x1

165lb x1

175lb x1

185lb x1

195lb x1

STANDING CALF RAISES:

( +45lb x10) 3x

SEATED HAMSTRING CURL:

(90lb x15) 3x

LEG EXTENSIONS:

(90lb x15)

INNER/OUTER THIGH:

*These were done 10 reps on low foot rest, and 10 on high foot rest

40lb x20 / 40lb x20

30lb x20 / 50lb x20

20lb x20 / 40lb x20

••••••••••

     Everything went really well tonight. I'm proud of getting up to 195lb. It wasn't perfect, but dammit, I'm counting it. I had a little pain on my left knee during the first set, but it went away and I'm having no issues. 

     Let's talk a minute about this program that we're doing. I found it online years ago, the first time I tried it. I don't remember exactly where I downloaded it from, but if you google Westside Barbell Conjugate method, you can find all sorts of downloadable templates. Basically, Mondays & Tuesdays will be max effort days for us. Mondays are upper body, so that will be all variations of bench. Tuesdays are lower body and that encompasses squats and variations as well as deads and variations. Thursdays and Fridays are dynamic effort days. Thursdays are for upper body and Fridays are lower.  Wednesday, Saturday & Sunday are off days or can be used for light mobility or general fitness work. Now, some of the suggested lifts require specialty bars which we simply don't have access to. In those cases we'll probably just sub in the basic lift. Everything else is straightforward and aimed squarely at building strength and mass. This isn't about defining each muscle but I guarantee you that the aesthetics will come if I keep at it. I'll never be a body builder, but there will definitely be noticeable muscle!

     I'm excited! I can't wait to see the physical changes and I can't wait to start feeling strong again. Onwards and upwards!

Excuses Or Reasons

     I started a new 12 week program today. In actuality, it's not new. I began this program once before, years ago, but never made it past week 4. That was when I was an inconsistent little turd. Now, I'm a slightly bigger turd and also slightly more consistent. We'll talk more about the program later. Right now, here's what got moved tonight:

••••••••••

MAX EFFORT BENCH:

65lb x8

80lb x5

95lb x3

115lb x1

125lb x1

135lb x1

140lb x1

145lb x1

125lb x2

INCLINED BENCH:

(75lb x8) 5x

DECLINE BENCH:

(95lb x8) 5x

STANDING CABLE FLY:

High:

35lb x10

40lb x10

45lb x10

Mid:

(25lb x10) 3x

Low:

(20lb x10) 3x

••••••••••

     I'm giving the conjugate method another try. I've been thinking about what my goals are. Strength has always been important to me, but I began talking myself into leaning more towards just body building / aesthetics. I almost had myself convinced that my age may be too big of a barrier to gaining real strength. Then, one night as we were walking into the gym, I saw a flyer for a powerlifting comp that the Y is putting o in December. It's open to anyone. No, I won't be entering...this year. My major, long term goal is to enter that competition next year. I'm giving myself one year to get as strong as I can and then I'm going to give it a go. What the hell, right? 

     We've all seen those videos of little old ladies friggin ripping weight off the floor like they were picking up their lacy handkerchiefs. Well why can't that be me? I'm so tired of giving myself excuses because of my age. It's fucking ridiculous and It's weak. I mean, I have realistic expectations here. I'm going to go out on a limb and say a pro card is not in my future. But I may just get strong enough to win a local comp. I think that would be pretty damn cool. 

     And while we're talking about excuses, I'm tired of them. Everywhere I look lately, all I see is people spewing weak ass excuses about everything under the sun. 

     "I can't do this because..."

     "I can't do that because...."

     Just stop it. Life is pretty good at throwing obstacles in our way when we least expect it. Why in the hell would we want to willingly do that to ourselves -always throwing up self-made barriers to things we want or things we want to do? I've caught myself doing it and I'm calling myself out for it. I've caught my daughter doing it in regards to school and I called her out for it. There is absolutely no need for it. The way I look at it, you're either going to give yourself excuses why you can't, or reasons why you can. That choice is totally up to you. Only one of those choices will earn you the life you want and the respect you earned.

     So I hope you all enjoy this new journey I'm on and I hope you feel compelled to stop giving yourself excuses too, no matter what they are. 

     

Birthday Bench

     I made it. One more revolution around the giant glowing orb star. Today is my 49th birthday and I celebrated by taking it easy on bench day. Here's what got done (at a leisurely pace):

••••••••••
FLAT BENCH:
75lb x12
95lb x10

(115lb x5) 3x

95lb 1.5 reps x5

75lb 1.5 reps x5

Bar 1.5 reps x12

INCLINED BENCH:

65lb x6

(65lb x10) 3x

DECLINED BENCH:

65lb x10

(95lb x5) 2x

STANDING CABLE FLY:

High:

30lb x10

35lb x10

40lb x10

Mid:

(25lb x10) 3x

Low:

(20lb x10) 3x

••••••••••

     Like I said, I went easy tonight. Not only because it was my birthday but also because I was exceptionally tired. Last night was not a restful sleep and I was feeling it today. The two dinky tuna sandwiches I had along with the yogurt and oatmeal cookies also didn't help any. Oh well, not every day is a winner. It may not have been a winner winner, but ai sure did have a chicken dinner! Roasted za'tar thighs with garlic chickpeas. Oh yeah, and ice cream cake for dessert. I give no damns tonight. Not one. 

     Here's to the beginning of another year and hopefully a journey that sees me getting physically better, mentally better and spiritually better. Huzzah! 

Not Dead Yet

     Dead lift day, deadlift day, my second favorite lifting day! I love Mondays and what made it even better was that my unsolicited advisor kept any comments he may have had to himself.  Here's what got done tonight:

••••••••••

TRAP BAR DEADLIFT:

131lb x10

197lb x6

(241lb x3) 3x

197lb x10 (speed)

131lb x20 (speed)

KB SINGLE LEG RDL:

35lb x10 ea. leg

45lb x8 ea. leg

50lb x7 ea. leg

CABLE LAT PULL DOWN:

85lb x10

100lb x8

(105lb x5) 3x

CABLE FACE PULL:

25lb x10

30lb x10

40lb x5

SEATED CABLE ROWS:

(Pronated Grip)

(35lb x10) 3x

••••••••••

     Not too much to say about tonight. We killed it, we went home. I love the trap bar deadlifts because, and I hate that I'm going to say this, they totally feed my ego. Listen, everyone has a friggin ego lift and trap bars are mine, OK? I know I can move more on them than conventional and it makes me feel great to say that I lifted over 200lbs. Leave me alone. I'm old and don't have a lot of ego left anyhow. 

     I generally like to mix up my grips on the different movements. I have a habit of always doing one sort of row, so I made it a point tonight to keep my elbows out with the pronated grip. If you'd like some decent info on grips, you can watch a video here. 

     I was sweaty and gross when we left that gym tonight, and I felt pretty damn good. I may be older, and I may be slightly broken but I'm still kickin', and I'm still deadlifting.  I'm not ready to go yet.

Keep It To Yo Self

     It's my favorite day of the week! I forgot to post Thursday's session so I'll also be doing that tonight. In very sad, horrible news, we missed bi's & tri's on Wednesday and I'm heartbroken. Just kidding - I hate Wednesdays. Here's what got done on Thursday and tonight:

••••••••••

THURSDAY 10/16

SEATED DB PRESS:

20lb x12

25lb x8

(30lb x5) 3x

SEATED DB REAR FLY:

(10lb x10) 3x

*I wanted to try the 15's, but some kid was using them. I didn't really care for the logistics of this one. I'm not sure if it was the little midget bench we had or what, but I felt like I was all scrunched up into a little ball. The last set of 10 I actually did standing. 

LEANING CABLE LATERAL RAISE:

(5lb x7) 2x

5lb x10

*These were beyond humbling. That measly little 5lb felt like 50lb. But I put my ego aside and just completed my sets with good form.

ISOLATERAL SHOULDER PRESS:

(weight is per side)

5lb x10

10lb x10

10lb x9.5

5lb (neutral grip) x6

SEATED CABLE REAR DELT FLY:

60lb x10

70lb x10

80lb x10

FRIDAY 10/17

BACK SQUAT:

75lb x10

95lb x10

115lb x5

(135lb x3) 3x

FRONT SQUATS:

Bar x10

(55lb x10) 2x

45°LEG PRESS:

190lb x15

(280lb x6) 2x

CALF RAISES:

(Empty Machine x10) 2x

+45lb x6

SEATED HAMSTRING CURLS:

90lb x10

100lb x10

110lb x10

115lb x5

LEG EXTENSIONS:

65lb x15

75lb x10

85lb x10

*My knees were protesting loudly by this point so I adjusted the starting angle and kept it on the lighter side.

MULTI HIP ADDUCTORS:

(35lb x12) 3x ea. side

MULTI HIP ABDUCTORS:

(23lb x10) 3x ea. side

••••••••••

     I'm pleased with everything for both nights. My knees have been really achy the past week or so, I think it's because of the cooler weather. I had to take a couple of breaks during the squats and just do a few deep squat stretches. It seemed to help. It also seemed to draw the attention of another gym goer who decided it was the best time to tell me that if I'm having back issues, it's because my back is too horizontal when I'm doing the squat. I tried to tell him that no, I do low bar, so I need the more horizontal angle as opposed to a high bar, but he just kept talking so I just went back to squatting. He stayed there and watched. Insert massive eye roll here. Now look, we've seen this guy in the gym for the past few weeks and he seems like a nice enough dude. But I have never once seen him squatting. He benches, he does dumbbell presses and some other upper body cable stuff. Oh, and he walks on the treadmill. 

     I am by no means, an expert and I'm constantly watching videos and reading about new movements and tweaks here and there. I'll be the first to admit that I learn something new every damn day. You know what I know a fair bit about though? How to fucking squat. There are times, that I catch myself leaning too far forward, usually by the end of my sets when I'm zonked. Or when I'm rushing and not concentrating. On the whole, however, I know what the frig I'm doing. 

     I don't generally want unsolicited advice and I certainly don't want squatting tips from a guy that I have never seen squat and whose legs are approximately the same size as my arms. It kind of pissed me off. I don't see him going up to the kid doing box squats and literally bouncing off the box. I don't see him advising the kid benching more than his body weight and nearly killing himself in the process. I don't see him interrupting the guy on the cable machine doing some sort of movement that looked suspiciously like masturbating. Was it because he assumed I was a feeble-minded chick who needed a man to guide her? Don't go there with me guy, it won't be good for you. Ugh, whatever. I got my shit done, my legs are looking better and I'm getting stronger. That's what matters most. 

     And just because I'm that kind of person, read about the squat here.

Ride High

     We missed yesterday's session because we were out having family time. We needed to go buy a dress for homecoming. It was a good day and Emily and I learned that Frank has quite the fashion sense. Today we were back at the work. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

FLAT BENCH:

75lb x10

95lb x8

(115lb x4) 2x

135lb x2

135lb x1

DECLINE BENCH:

75lb x12

95lb x8

115lb x3

(115lb x4) 2x

INCLINE BENCH:

65lb x10

75lb x8

85lb x4

85lb x3

DB FLY:

20lb x6

(20lb x10) 2x

DB CHEST SUPPORTED ROWS:

20lb x10

25lb x10

30lb x5

30lb x5 single arm

SEATED CABLE ROWS:

35lb x12

45lb x10

50lb x5

STANDING CABLE FLY:

HIGH PULLEY (no rest):

30lb x10

40lb x10

50lb x10

MID PULLEY (no rest):

(40lb x6) 2x

40lb x4

LOW PULLEY(no rest):

30lb x8

(20lb x8) 2x

••••••••••

     I'm very pleased with tonight. I'm exhausted and I'm pleased. It was a spur of the moment to try the 135lb again. I got the first and immediately went for the second rep. I'm slowly inching back up to previous levels and that makes me happy. 

     We are still struggling with the damn nutrition. Speaking just for myself here, I am weak as water when it comes to any sort of food discipline. I love my treats and I absolutely know it's the reason I'm not seeing the results that I could be seeing. I have no excuses. All I can say is that I have a renewed push to do better.  Oh well. At least it gives me something to strive for.

     Tomorrow is my least favorite night, but I'm not thinking of that. I'm gonna let myself ride high on my achievements tonight. 

Just Go

    The last thing that I felt like doing yesterday was squatting, but Fridays are for squats and only dumbasses skip leg day. So here's what got done:

••••••••••

BACK SQUATS:

75lb x10

95lb x8

115lb x6

(135lb x5) 3x

75lb x10 wide

SEATED LEG CURL:

80lb x10

90lb x10

100lb x10

LEG EXT.:

80lb x10

90lb x10

100lb x10

SEATED ADDUCTORS:

50lb x12

50lb x5

40lb x10

SEATED ABDUCTORS:

50lb x12

60lb x6

40lb x6

STANDING CALVES:

(+50lb x10) 2x

+50lb x8

••••••••••

     It was a fairly straightforward leg session. Like I said, I didn't even want to go but I know that the cure for not wanting to go is to go, so I went. 

     I had initially wanted to do some box squats because I haven't done those in forever. The only place to do them is at the back of the gym and when we got there, that area was pretty crowded. They don't have a "proper" box for squats but there were two options that we could've utilized. There is the foam covered box jump box that has a height of 24". That is a wee bit high for my liking. It's doable, but not ideal. But then, I figured out another option that would be adjustable to the correct height for me - the aerobic step! It's adjustable by adding more square risers, it's stable and strong and the width is narrow enough to not get in the way of my feet, but wide enough to sit comfortably on. Next Friday, you can bet your booty I'll be trying out my ideas. Dare I say, I'm excited?

     I had some knee pain after my working sets, that's why there is only one finishing set of 10. It wasn't crazy pain, but my left knee was starting to protest and I wanted to be able to finish the other stuff without injury. At this stage of the game, I've learned to listen when a part of me is getting angry. It's either go easy on one day and get back at it next time, or ignore the issue and screw myself up for the next 3 months while I heal. I prefer the first option. 

     As usual, I never regret a workout. I'm glad I pushed myself hard enough to go, but not so hard that I got hurt. A win-win.

Papa Swolio Gym GIFfrom Papa Swolio GIFs

Muppet Show

     I missed a couple of days this week and I forgot to upload Tuesday's session. So tonight, for your viewing pleasure, I present to you another TWO-FER!

••••••••••

Tuesday October 7

DB INCLINED BENCH:

25lb x10

(30lb x10) 2x

35lb x5

35lb x6

35lb x5 

DB FLAT BENCH:

30lb x10

35lb x8

(40lb x5) 2x

40lb x10

SEATED PEC:

80lb x10

90lb x7

(100lb x5) 2x

100lb x6

SEATED DIPS:

90lb x10

95lb x6

(100lb x4) 3x

SEATED CHEST PRESS:
50lb x6 narrow

50lb x6 wide

40lb x7 narrow

40lb x5 wide

30lb x10 narrow

30lb x10 wide

Thursday, October 9

OVERHEAD PRESS:

Bar x10 strict

45lb x10 behind head

55lb x6 strict, x6 push

65lb x8 push

75lb x6 push

(80lb x5) 3x push

EZ CURL SKULL CRUSHER / PULLOVER:

30lb x10 / x10

(40lb x10 / x10) 2x

ISOLATERAL SEATED O.H. PRESS:

(weight is per side)

+5lb x12

+10lb x7

+15lb left arm x3, right arm x1 (which is weird because my right arm should be the stronger one, you would think)

+10lb x3 left arm, x3 right arm

ASSISTED DIPS:

(90lb x10) 2x

90lb x6, x4

••••••••••

     I don't know where else you can go and get two nights of training logs in one post, but I hope you all appreciate it! I noticed tonight that the past two posts have had a whopping 17 views so I want to say hello to the whole gaggle of you. This must be how all of those fancy celebrities feel. I wonder, does this make me an influencer?? 

     But I digress. Training has been going well. I'm not stressing about missing days here and there. I have plenty of other things to stress over, I don't need to heap anything else onto my shoulders. I also think we may make Wednesdays a toss up. I personally hate a day dedicated to bi's and tri's so I don't care if we go or not. I can add that into other days during the week and I feel like having that day to rest is beneficial to me as I am almost a half a century old. 

     My physical well being is moving along and now I'm going to start working on my spirit again. I've neglected it lately and I feel it, so Frank and I will be experimenting with some new meditation techniques. We'll see how it goes, but it certainly can't hurt. Body...check. Spirit...check. Mind...well... I think I lost that a ways back. If I can find it, I'll work on that too.

     I have to say, before I let you all go, that something needs to be done about gym design. I think we need to have mirror free spaces in there. I mean, for hell's sake, I don't need to have a wall size mirror 3 feet in front of me on the iso machine. I know I look like a dirty old muppet, I don't need the Y reminding me of it. I want a plain wall. No mirrors. Maybe just some local take out menus so I know what to eat when I'm done. I'm starting a change.org petition. Who's in?!

Squats A Lot

     It seems like it's been forever ago that we squatted, but that squat drought ended today! Good things happened. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

BACK SQUATS:

65lb x10

95lb x8

125lb x5

135lb x5

155lb x2

175lb x1

135lb x1 - stopped due to left knee pain

Bar (wide/mid/narrow) x10 ea - no rest

45° LEG PRESS:

(240lbs x10) 3x

STANDING CALF RAISES:

(+50lbs x10) 3x

SEATED LEG PRESS (single leg):

40lb x10ea.

60lb x10ea.

80lb x6 ea.

SEATED LEG CURL:

70lbs 3 different foot positions x10 ea. - no rest

90lb x10

100lb x10

SEATED LEG EXTENSION:

70lb x12

90lb x10

110lb x5, x3, x2

MULTI HIP MACHINE:

Abductors: (23lb x10 ea.) 3x

Adductors: (23lb x12 ea.) 3x

••••••••••

     My intention was to go slow and keep it light tonight for a couple of reasons. First, it's been a couple of weeks since I squatted. Second, I'm dog friggin tired. Now, they say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I'm fairly certain I didn't visit hell today. In fact, my accomplishments, one could say, were heavenly.

     I started light and was feeling stiff and heavy but as I kept increasing the weight, I started limbering up and feeling pretty good. I methodically plugged my way along to a one rep max of 175lbs; not a PR, but certainly better than anything that I've moved in a long while. I am actually proud of myself. 

     Everything else was straightforward and went well. The single leg presses killed me the last time and I have no doubt that they will again this week. I had heard that pointing your toes in different directions on the leg curls will hit different parts of the hamstrings so I tried it out. I didn't really enjoy it. It seemed to put some weird stress on my knees of all things. I think I'll just stick with the toes straight. 

     I utilized the multi hip machine tonight. I love that friggin thing. I like it much better than the seated inner/outer thigh. Plus nobody ever uses it, so it's always open!

     We went out for seafood after we killed our legs and I don't care if that was not the best choice. It made me happy. I'm beyond tired and tomorrow I will be sore, but that pride will still be there too and that makes it all worth it.

SIR SQUATS A LOT

Shouldering My Way In

     It was much quieter tonight in the gym, also more boring, but not every day can be a hoot nanny. Despite the lackluster crowd, here's what got done:

••••••••••

SEATED O.H. PRESS:
Bar x15

65lb x7

75lb x1, 65lb x3

(65lb x5) 3x

STANDING O.H. (PUSH PRESS):

65lb x10

75lb x5

(85lb x3) 2x

DB FRONT/LATERAL RAISE:

(10lb x10 ea.) 3x

DB BENT ARM LATERAL RAISE:

(10lb x10) 3x

DB REAR FLY:

(10lb x10) 3x

STANDING DB PULLOVER:

(20lb x10) 3x

SEATED PULLDOWNS (FRONT & REAR):

Behind the head: 55lb x20

70lb x10 ea. no rest

85lb x5 ea. no rest

SEATED CONVERGING SHOULDER PRESS (Pronated/Neutral Grip):

40lb x10 ea.

45lb x10 ea.

50lb x5 ea.

••••••••••

     Needless to say, I had trouble drinking my water after tonight's work. I guess it was effective. Not much else to say so I'll leave it at that.

Psych Ward

     Bench day was...interesting. Lots of characters, lots of laughs. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

INCLINED BENCH:
65lb x10

75lb x8

(85lb x5) 3x

FLAT BENCH:

75lb x15

95lb x10

(115lb x3) 2x

115lb x4

(65lb wide/narrow x10 ea.) 2x

DECLINED BENCH:

(95lb x4) 2x

95lb x5

SEATED CABLE FLY:

70lb x15

80lb x10

(90lb x7) 3x

••••••••••

     It was another busy night in the gym. I don't know if people's schedules have changed with the changing seasons or what, but there's been a lot of people in the weight room this week. With more people comes more laughs as Frank and I people watch while we lift. And let me just be clear here, I may be having fun and cracking jokes on people, but I'm sure they're all good people. I know I'm just as much a character as anyone else and this is all in good fun.

     As we were doing the flat bench, we noticed this young lady sauntering in in her teensy weensy barely there shorts. She went to the cable machine and started doing some leg stuff. She seemed to be doing the 1 set then rest method of training. One set, and then she walked out. A few reps on our bench routine and she was back, this time, doing leg raises. One set, and then out. She looked to be in good shape, so maybe she's on to something. 

     When we really started losing our shit was when some guy made his appearance at the back of the gym. He was doing what looked like some sand bag squats but they must have been causing some sort of regurgitation issue because there was a lot of "throat clearing" going on. We called him Hacky Sack. It was around that time that I decided for my own physical well being, and to keep me from having some regurgitation issues, to move out to get the flys done. 

     The fly machine that we prefer is up against the wall, looking out at the whole room. There was no way I could miss the young Lass sitting on the end of a treadmill, smacking her thigh and shaking. Or maybe she was dancing. I'm not sure 'cause she was singing along to something only she could hear (I hope she had earbuds in).  Directly across from Twitchy Terry was a big dude in fluorescent yellow work pants with those funky reflective stripes on them. He may have just come from road work, or maybe a trash truck. I don't know. I do know that he was making some very, shall we say, adult noises while he was lifting. I get that people make noise, but I myself have never made any noise that could easily qualify as a moan while in the gym. He was like some sort of X-rated janitor. 

    We were in tears at various points throughout last night. It was while I was sitting on that fly machine, absorbing everything and taking it all in that I said to Frank,

     "I feel like I'm in some sort of psych ward."

It fit perfectly and made us laugh even more. Like I said, I'm not dogging on anybody. We're all there, being weird, just trying to make ourselves better. I can only imagine how I look to people - some chubby old broad, sweating her ass off looking like she's ten seconds from death while her man with the long orangutang arms makes crazy faces and inappropriate motions to her to make her laugh. 

     We're all a little psycho to be doing what we do.