Deja Vu All Over Again

     I lost focus tonight and had some trouble. Wrote a little song about it. Like to hear it? Here it goes.

     Hello back pain my old friend. I've thrown my SI joint again.

     I hope you all sang those lines because I sang them as I typed them. We'll talk more about it later. Right now, here's what I did manage to do:

••••••••••

DEADLIFTS:

133lb x15

(199lb x3) 2x

199lb x1

PAUSED DEADLIFTS:

133lb x5

BARBELL GOOD MORNING:

Bar x10

(88lb x10) 2x

LAT PULLDOWNS:

70lb x20

80lb x10

90lb x5

LAT PRAYERS:

25lb x20

30lb x15

35lb x10

SINGLE ARM LAT PULLDOWNS:

35lb x15 ea.

45lb x10 ea.

50lb x5 ea.

ASSISTED PULLUPS:

90lb x6

90lb x5

75lb x3

REAR CABLE FLY:

50lb x15

60lb x10

70lb x5

••••••••••

     Soooo....That second set of 199lb is where it all went to hell. I felt that familiar old poke of pain in my SI joint and knew that it was only going to tighten and get angry. All because I lost my focus. There seemed to be a lot of people in the weight room tonight. Usually it's not so busy, especially at the back. Tonight there were 4 young men in various acts of movement and 3 of them seemed hell bent on making as much noise as possible. I was getting really overwhelmed with all the motion and noise and just totally lost concentration. I felt my body lose tension and I just knew it was going south. Instead of having an awesome night of deads, paused deads and deficit deads along with all of the accessories, I cut myself short. No one to blame but myself. I did stop and ask Frank if he thought I had a touch of the 'tism. Seriously, why the hell do I get so friggin overwhelmed and agitated with noise and motion? 

   At this time, I'm 2 ibuprofen in and feeling some relief as I sit with a pillow jammed into my back. I'll be retiring shortly to my boudoir for a hot date with my heating pad. See what I did there? Hot...heating pad...I'll see myself out.  

Repping It

     Tuesdays are for bench so that's what we did because, who are we to break with traditoin? 

I didn't want to go heavy, instead, I'm trying to add more volume. I thnk I managed that last night. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

INCLINED BENCH:

65lb x15

75lb x10

(85lb x5) 3x

DECLINED BENCH:

65lb x20

85lb x12

(95lb x5) 3x

FLAT BENCH:

75lb x15

(95lb x4.5 - needed help on last rep) 2x

95lb x5

65lb wide/narrow x10 ea.

Bar wide/narrow x10 ea.

PEC DEC:

70lb x10

80lb x10

85lb x10

ROTARY TORSO:

70lb x15

80lb x12

90lb x10

••••••••••

     So, yeah, some extra volume there. By the time we got to conventional bench, I was so gassed that I need a spot on the 95lb! Kind of shameful I know, but I just stalled out. I made progress on the rotary torso, but honestly, I don't even know if that truly does anything. I suppose if it's not causing pain, it's not hurting. 

     Tonight is bi's and tri's - probably my least favorite day. It's just boring to me. I'd rather take today off and add them in to chest and shoulder day, but Frank likes Wednesdays, so we'll be back at it tonight. I'll be the one with the glazed expression on my face. 

TRAP BAR PR

     I forgot to log the squat notes from Sept. 12, so I'll post that tonight as well as our deadlift notes. I managed a PR on trap bar, which, honestly, wasn't too difficult because I don't do them a lot, so there's always big steps. But I'm still proud of it. Here's what got done fro both days:

••••••••••

FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 12

BACK SQUATS:

65lb x15

95lb x12

(125lb x5) 3x

95lb x15

65lb x10, 3 second pause

SEATED LEG PRESS:

(18kg x10) 2x

(18kg x10) 3x SINGLE LEG

(14kg x20)

(23kg x10)

MULTI HIP MACHINE KICKBACK:

35lb x12 ea. leg

41lb x12 ea. leg

47lb x12 ea. leg

••••••••••

MONDAY SEPTEMBER 22

TRAP BAR DEADS:

131lb x15

197lb x5

241lb x3

263lb x2

(197lb x7) 3x

GOOD MORNING:

45lb x10

67lb x10

89lb x10

BARBELL BENT ROWS:

Bar x20

(67lb x10) 2x

SEATED ISOLATERAL ROWS:

30lb x15

35lb x10

40lb x10

SINGLE ARM CROSS BODY CHEST PULLS:

20lb x10 ea. arm

25lb x10 ea. arm

30lb x10 ea. arm

••••••••••

     Our schedules were screwed up last week, so training didn't happen. I was worried today when we went back because I thought I had back slid a little. I guess some time off did me good! Now, I know that I can pull more with the trap bar than with conventional, but I'm still damn proud of myself. I've never lifted that much weight. Again, there is a caveat here - I'm guesstimating that the bar is 65lbs. I really don't feel like lugging it all the way out to the other room to the scale to get an exact weight on it. Just let me have my moment!

 Anyhoo....I'm feeling pretty good and ready to see those numbers keep getting higher  on all of the lifts. 

Over My Head

     We've missed the last to overhead press sessions and it showed tonight. Numbers weren't where they should be, but I'm taking it all in stride. Here's what got done tonight:

••••••••••

STANDING OVERHEAD PRESS:

Bar x15 strict

55lb x9 strict

(65lb x5) push

65lb x7 push

65lb x3 (adjusted grip width) 65lb x5 push

55lb x10 push

Bar x10 mixed

Bar x5 behind head

Bar x5 front push

*I'm trying to do as many as I can as strict presses, but eventually I do switch to a push press.

SINGLE ARM REAR DELT FLY (cable):

(5lb x10 ea. arm) 3x

*I was totally humbled by this move. 5lbs? sheesh.

ISOLATERAL SHOULDER PRESS:

Empty x20

+10lb x12

+20lb x7

SEATED REAR DELT FLY:

50lb x15

70lb x7

70lb x8

70lb x7

SEATED DIPS:

70lb x12

80lb x10

90lb x7

100lb x5

••••••••••

     And that's all she wrote. Not a horrible night, but nothing crazy either. Most times I feel like I could have done better though, so my view is slightly skewed. All I know is I'm tired and sore and glad that tomorrow is Friday. Well, kind of glad. Friday is squat day and we all know that squat day intimidates the shit out of me. It's a bully and I don't like bullies. My two options are: 1 - show it who's boss; 2 - hurt myself trying to show it who's boss. I'll let you know tomorrow which option I chose. 

Dumbing It Down

     We focused on mostly dumbbell work tonight. Thankfully, there was one adjustable bench open so we jumped on it. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

INCLINED DB BENCH:

20lb x20

(35lb x10) 2x

35lb x7

FLAT DB BENCH:

25lb x15

35lb x8

40lb x6

40lb x7

CLOSE GRIP DB BENCH:

15lb x15

25lb x10

(25lb x15) 2x

DOUBLE DB PULLOVER:

15lb x10

DB FLY / DBL DB PULLOVER:

(15lb x10 ea.) 2x

STANDING CABLE FLY:

(40lb x10) 2x

30lb x10

35lb x10

••••••••••

     Not too much to say about tonight. The only thing that felt weird were the standing flys. I don't think that I was doing them or something. I'll be watching some videos to see what I did wrong. Or maybe it's just because I haven't done them much. 

     I'm kind of shook right now, to be honest. I just saw the news that Charlie Kirk was shot. I don't know why, but this just pisses me off. I don't feel good about where this country is heading and all I can say is that it's one more reason to be physically strong. I may not be able to stop a bullet, but I'll be god damned if I won't be ready for a fight. I just don't know what to say tonight. It's horrible.

Keep Pushing.

     We're going to miss tomorrow because of the dentist, but we didn't miss today! I will admit that I was not looking forward to today, but we'll get to that. Right now, here's what got done:

••••••••••

DEADLIFTS:

I guess you could classify these as speed sets, making sure to completely touch the floor, pause for 1/2 second and lift again. 

133lb x15

177lb x10

221lb x1, 177lb x5

177lb x5, x2

133lb x10, x6, x4

BB BENT ROWS:

Bar x15

(67lb x10) 3x

SEATED ROWS:

70lb x5, switched the attachment, 70lb x5

85lb x10

90lb x5, x2

75lb x15

BACK RAISES:

10lb x10

25lb x10

45lb x4

DEAD HANGS:

18.7 sec.

24.7 sec.

21.8 sec.

••••••••••

     Tonight felt OK. Nothing earth-shattering or anything really to brag about went down, but I still lapped everyone on the couch, I guess. I'm trying to be positive here, even though it's not exactly what I feel. Some days, I go in there and I feel strong, I feel capable and I feel great. Other times, such as tonight and really, for the past couple of weeks, I go in there and I feel old, fat, out of shape and like a huge embarrassment that's totally out of their element.

     This may be a shock to some of you, but time doesn't stop for anyone. I know. I was shocked too when I realized that. Seriously though, I'm about 13 years older than when I began this adventure of weightlifting and fitness. I was in much better shape back then. I could lift more, my conditioning was awesome and my physical body looked a hell of a lot better. Now, I'm just a shadow of what I used to be and the only person to blame is me. I let it go out of pure laziness. That's infuriating to me and I'm pissed at myself for letting it happen. I've been down this road before, playing the solo blame game. It gets me no where except more depressed.

     I know I can't stay young forever, part of me doesn't truly mind getting older. Another part of me hates it and hates, yes that's the correct word, this old broad that looks back from the mirror every day. 

     My nutrition has gone back to the gutter, my acid reflux is back, poor sleep is still hanging around and I'm just so very done. I'm pushing to get through each day and stay awake past 8pm but I mostly lose that battle and head to bed at "old people" o'clock; sleep for a couple of hours or three and then toss and turn the rest of the night. 

     Every day I beat myself for poor choices. Whether it's food or activity or housework or whatever...nothing is off limits and I can't even meet my own standards. It's exhausting, but I keep pushing. My mood swings more than 1940's Glenn Miller and my brain is foggier than London in the fall, but I keep pushing. Because what the hell else am I supposed to do? I know that I would be far more depressed if I quit. I would be angrier at myself for far worse health problems if I stopped trying altogether. Dear Gods, I...am...tired, but I am still pushing. 

     Maybe one day, the pushing won't be so difficult. Maybe it will get easier and it won't be such a struggle. I hope so. I probably know so, I'm just too sad to admit it. 

     If you're struggling, keep pushing. It's not easy, I know. I'm right there in the trenches with you, head low, feet dug in. Reach out and we'll push together. 

Rolling Rolling Rolling

     We didn't get in much training last week, for a variety of reasons. This week isn't looking much better, but we at least got some bench in tonight. Here's what got done:

••••••••••

FLAT BENCH:

75lb x12

95lb x10

115lb x3

(115lb x5) 2x

(115lb x4) 2x

95lb x10

INCLINE BENCH:

65lb x8

75lb x4

75lb x8

75lb x6

DECLINE BENCH:

95lb x9

(115lb x3) 3x

PEC FLY MACHINE:

70lb x12

90lb x8

100lb x5

110lb x4

ASSISTED DIPS:

(80lb x7) 2x

(80lb x5) 2x

*I tried doing some with zero assistance, but I'm not counting them because they were no where near full reps. It felt good to try, though. 

••••••••••

     We're trying to switch things up a bit while still keeping with our same basic program. So tonight we started with flat bench. I was going to try again for the 135lb, but I didn't feel like I would be able to move it so I kept it at 115lb. I used to be able to do the 115lb for 3 sets of 5 and it will certainly feel good to get back to that again. 

     We're going to start throwing in a bit more dumbbell work. It's difficult at times though because there are only 2 adjustable benches in the weight room and 2 flat benches. When we see one, we have to jump on it before it gets taken. If they're all in use, we need to think on the fly lol. 

     Tomorrow Frank has a club meeting to go to so I'm not sure if I'll go alone to the gym. It's only bi's & tri's, probably my least favorite night so I'm not terribly worried about it. I feel like I can add those in at other times during the week. I'm slowly learning not to get too stressed over missing my training days. Do I know that discipline and consistency are the most important factors in success? Yes. But I also know that sometimes life doesn't give two shits about our schedules and we need to learn to roll with it. Right now, I'm rolling.