Reset

     I was totally bummed yesterday and tried over and over to put together a post to reflect all of my frustration. It just never came together and I deleted everything and gave up. Tonight was much better and shoulder night went down fairly well. Here's the low down:

••••••••••

O.H. PRESS:

STRICT:

55lb x12

65lb x6

(77lb x3) 3x

PUSH:

89lb x5

99lb x3

109lb x1

111lb x1

KB PUSH PRESS:

20lb x10 ea.

35lb x8 ea.

45lb x3 ea.

DB RAISES:

LAT / FRONT / REAR FLY

(12lb x8/x8/x8) 3x

ISOLATERAL PRESS:

(+10lb x10) 3x

SEATED REAR FLY:

(70lb x10) 3x

••••••••••

     I don't want to say it's for certain, but that may have been a PR on the push press. It's been so long since I've gone heavy on those that I'm not really sure. I'll hold back on the celebration for now. I did belt up for the heavier presses because last week my back was a little wigged out with the presses. It seemed to help tonight and as of right now, there's no pain or discomfort. I felt a huge pump on my shoulders tonight, they were tight and hard as rocks so there's no room for complaints or regerts (yes, I meant that typo).

     Last night, my mood sucked. I was over it, all of it - the tracking, the figuring out what to eat, what not to eat, the scale going back up 5lbs, the body not changing as fast as I want or in the ways that I want. It was all too much and came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I went to bed sullen and as wrung out as yesterday's wash cloth. I didn't sleep very well (as usual) but what little rest I did get must have been a good reset. I can't say that I woke up feeling refreshed but I was definitely adjusted and accepting of reality. Am I where I want to be in the gym? Of course not. But when I look back at my training notes, there's undeniable proof that I'm getting stronger. Those numbers just don't lie. As far as nutrition, well, it's not what it should be and the only way to deal with that is to make better choices - more clean foods, lower fat foods, better quality protein. At the same time, I have to realize that it's not realistic to hit the exact macro numbers; it's just not. They're guide posts to keep me on the right path, not jail cell walls that I'm never allowed to leave. I still eat better than most of the people I know. 

And for that damn scale, it can go all the way to hell and back. I had to remind myself that the goal was to lose 1lb per week. I've been doing this for about 2 weeks so I should only be down to 198lb. When I got on the scale this morning, it may have reflected just that. I'm not positive on it because I can't read the damn lines. Again, reality check Michelle. It's not realistic to be losing 5lbs a week and as one of my friends pointed out, if I did lose that, it was probably water.

     Anyhow, tonight I'm in a much better headspace. I'm pleased with the training, kinda pleased with my progress and most of all pleased that I have not given up. I thought I'd bring back my old motivational quote

That will never not get to me. Now it's tea time.