Lap Top Shmaptop

Years back, when I started keeping a training log, all I had was a notebook. You know, one with actual paper. Then I progressed and started keeping an online blog. I like the online format because it's easily shareable with my Facebook group, but I'll be damned if I can find past posts with ease. With my old school notebook, I could flip through the pages and find the lift and weight that I did. With this, I have to scroll and scroll and reload pages. I dunno, I just seem to always struggle with it. Odd, seeing as how I work on a computer all day long.
Anyhow, I did bench press with the foam roller tonight. I have no idea if I got anywhere close to what I got the last time I did it because I can't find the damn post. Ugh.
Here's what got done:

WARM UP:

Bench:

65lb 1.5 reps x10 (top half)

FOAM ROLL BENCH:

85lb x8

115lb x6

125lb x3

135lb x1

145lb x1

(135lb x3)

CHEST FLYS:

(25lb x6) 5x

OH TRI. EXT.:

15lb x10

DB KICKBACK:

(15lb x10) 4x

STABILITY BALL:

(Push up / knee curl x10) 2x

••••••••••

Again, I use the foam roller because I don't have wooden blocks. Here's a video example:

Making some actual boards with a handle is on my ever-growing To-Do list. For now, the roller works OK. The stability ball work is feeling much better than when I first tried them. Next time I do these I'll add an extra set. So that's progress anyhow. Not much else left to say except that I'm about to scour every post to find my previous lift!

Everything I'm Not

I screwed up the order in which I was supposed to do these lifts tonight. I guess it's not that big of a deal, bt I thought I'd make note of it anyhow. Also, until I can get to a spot where I'm feeling more "into it" I'm doing every other day instead of a 4 day split. Here's what got done:

DB BENCH:

15lb x20

25lb x8

30lb x6

45lb x3

(30lb x5) 3x

BENCH:

(85lb x3) 12x (minimal rest between sets)

INCLINED SHRUGGED ROW / FRONT RAISE:

15lb x10 / x10

(25lb x5 / x5) 3x

*The 25lb front raises were not to parallel, but I got them as high as I could and I made sure to come to a complete stop at the bottom with no use of momentum.

CORE WORK:

(Ball Pike x10) 3x

(35lb KB OH leg raises x10) 3x

*these are done by holding the KB oh in a single arm press position and then doing 5 leg raises; switch arms and do 5 more leg raises.

••••••••••

Tonight I had some Kanye playing to help get me through the workout. He has a song called "Everything I Am" and that song stuck out to me. The hook goes partially like this: "...everything I'm not made me everything I am." There really couldn't be any truer words. I'm Not average. I'm NOT weak and feeble like so many people my age. I'm NOT a quitter. 

Here's the Song if you want to give it a listen Everything I am.

Not Done Yet

BOX SQUATS:

85lb x10

105lb x8

125lb x5

(135lb x5) 3x

WIDE STANCE BACK SQUATS:

(55lb x10) 3x

SINGLE LEG BOX SQUATS:

Body Weight x4 ea leg

Body Weight x5 ea eg

Body weight x4 ea leg

STABILITY BALL:

(Push up / knee curl x10) 2x

••••••••••

Not a lot of volume today, but I'm pleased to have at least done something. I may be inconsistent, but I haven't totally given up. I figure I still have a few years left in me to make myself better. I don't have too much to say about anything, it was all pretty straightforward. My knees were ok; loud but ok. The left one is definitely the worse of the pair and it showed its displeasure with me by giving out twice on the way up from the basement. It may not be a good sign for tomorrow. Oh well, there's no time to worry about that - I have dishes to do and dinner to cook.

Something's Gotta Give

WARM UP:

Bench: 65 x10

CLOSE GRIP BENCH:

65lb x8

85lb x6

105lb x1

125lb x1

105lb x3

DB CURLS:

25lb Zottman x6

25lb Hammer x6

25lb Gladiator x6

25lb Standard x6

25lb Hammer x6

BB SHRUGS:

Bar x10

(115lb x10) 2x

(125lb x10) 2x

KB BENT ROWS:

(35lb x10) 3x

••••••••••

I'm still hanging in there. Is it consistent? Nope. I'm really just at a point of not really caring anymore. I've lost any discipline I had, and any clear goal is nonexistent. I'm just doing it when I feel like it. 

Not that it's an excuse, because it's very much not, but this menopause is just pure hell. My appetite is rampant, my metabolism has deserted me and my mood swings more than a Glenn Miller orchestra. The other night, I kept track of how many times I woke up due to hot flashes. 5 times. During the span of 7 or 8 hours I woke up 5 times, feeling as though I was being smothered by the world's biggest heating pad. It's awful. I'm so fucking tired I can't think straight or concentrate on much. So, I'm just trying to keep going. It's no pretty, it's probably not all that effective, but at least it's still motion. But something has to give because this sucks. 

Kicking It Like A Donkey

I pushed yesterday's workout to today. I half expected myself to not do it, but I went downstairs and completed what was on the schedule. Here's what got done:

SQUATS:

65lb x5

(stopped to get water)

65lb x10

(135lb x2) 10x

DEADS:

(155lb x2) 10x

DONKEY KICKS:

(25lb x10 ea leg) 3x

BALL PIKES:

3x5

••••••••••

I was in a fair bit of SI pain. Not quite sure why, but there was a pinchy-type pain that was making things difficult. I also got more than a little frustrated at the stabbing pain in my left knee when I tried to do split squats. I'm really just so fucking sick of this. Whatever. So that's why I went back to the stupid donkey kicks. They didn't seem to aggravate either problem area. I've never done the 25's before so that was a positive, anyhow. 

Tomorrow is a rest day and then back to chest on Monday.

No Joy In Mudville

Not much has been done over the past month. I don't have anything to say in my defense. I have no defense. I've been lazy and discouraged and unmotivated. I've struggled with this cycle for my entire life and I'm tired of it. Just so very tired of it. Needless to say, tonight was no fun. It sucked and I'm disappointed in myself, as usual.

BENCH:

65lb 1.5 reps x10

(115lb x3) 5x

SEATED DB OVERHEAD:

(25lb x5) 3x

CORE WORK:

(Stability ball push up / knee tuck x5) 3x

(35lb KB OH hold / leg raises x5 each side) 3x

••••••••••

That's all. I'll try to get back into 4 days a week but honestly, I have no confidence in myself anymore. I'm not going to ramble on, it won't do anyone any good.